I am a type A personality. Don’t get me wrong, I like to have fun and be a little spontaneous sometimes, but my genes are detail oriented and having a plan is a must. This quality of mine has always seemed to be my strong point (looks great on a resume, am I right?) as well as my weak point. You see, I have a very difficult time with change. I’ll admit, it has gotten much better over the years; especially since my best friend passed away suddenly in a car accident my senior year of high school, but that does not mean that I do not still struggle with it.
My natural knack to plan things has very often tried to take over my spiritual life. Instead of letting God take control of my life, I try to control my life. I have an idea in my head of exactly how things should go and exactly how my future should be planned out. Silly me, thinks that I know best. But God has a sense of humor, and he really likes to flip my “perfect” plans upside down or better yet, have a whole new purpose for something that I’ve already “figured out.”
In my last post, I discussed possibly pursuing ministry as a career. Since then, I have decided to change my major from music to ministry with a youth ministry concentration and then minor in music. This was a HUGE decision for me to make and I really wasn’t sure if I was making the right one. My entire life has been focused on music. What will it be like to shift that?
I decided to meet up with my youth pastor about it (who better to talk to about youth ministry?). Something that really struck me is when he said, “Lauren, I knew you were being called into ministry the day we had the celebration dinner for our Poland mission trip and you talked about your experience. I was just waiting to see how long it would take to be revealed to you.” My initial reaction was, WHAT?! But then I slowly began to realize something.
During my mission trip to Poland, I got to lead the worship music with another friend. Throughout that week, I felt God pulling at my heart. All this time I thought God had been calling me to pursue music, but it turns out He was actually calling me into ministry. Of course music will always be a part of my life. It’s who I am and will follow me no matter where I go. But there I was again, trying to fit God into my life plans, when I should really be letting God decide my life plans.
I was drawn to Luke chapter 1 while writing this, where it discusses the angel Gabriel appearing to Mary and telling her that she will be the mother of Jesus. I can’t even imagine what a shock this would be. There Mary was, just living her life with a bright future ahead of her, and all of a sudden her life was flipped upside down. Being pregnant and unmarried back in Mary’s time pretty much meant the end of your life. But instead of freaking out and getting angry, Mary replied by saying, ” I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as You have said” (verse 38). How incredible is that! Mary’s first reaction was to give God complete control over the situation. Do we have a lot to learn from Mary, or what?
I can’t imagine how much easier life would be if we would just give God complete control and stop trying to do everything on our own. My prayer today is that we all will learn to just let go and let God. “For nothing is impossible with God” (Luke chapter 1, verse 37).